Si bishya ko uganira n’umusore akakubwira ko nta mukunzi afite, ariko ko afite inkumi babyumva kimwe bagakemurirana ibibazo by’umubiri nko gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, bakitanaho nk’abakunzi kandi mu by’ukuri batari muri rwa rukundo rushobora gutanga umusaruro wanabageza ku kubana nk’umugabo n’umugore.

Ibyo biri mu bituma hanava zimwe mu mvugo zitesha agaciro bamwe mu rubyiruko, aho ujya kumva ukumva nk’umusore aravuze ati ‘‘Ni gute wagura inka yose kandi ubona amata ku buntu?’’, mu kumvikanisha ko mu gihe ufite umukobwa mukora imibonano mpuzabitsina bitakugoye, nta mpamvu yo kwirirwa umugiraho umushinga wo kumugira umugore kuko n’ubundi aho umushakiye umubona.

‘Hit and Run’, ‘Situationship’, na ‘friends-with-benefits’, ni bumwe mu buryo buri gukoreshwa cyane n’urubyiruko bakaba banabana nk’abagabo n’abagore kandi batari mu mubano uzabibagezaho, bakihunza ibirimo inshingano zo kuba banashinga ingo ngo bubake imiryango ihamye.

Bavuga ‘Situationship’, igihe abantu babiri nk’umusore n’umukobwa bafitanye umubano ushobora kubona ukagira ngo ni abakunzi, ariko ntibajye mu rukundo bya nyabyo. Bitanaho nk’abakunzi ndetse bakaba bakora ibirimo imibonano mpuzabitsina, ariko babizi neza ko umubano wabo nta zina bawuhaye ndetse nta n’aho werekeza.

Ni mu gihe ‘Hit and Run’ yo, ari cya gihe ushobora kuba ufite umuntu musanzwe muziranye cyangwa se munahuye bwa mbere ariko nta byinshi mutegura, mugakora imibonano mpuzabitsina ariko ntimukomeze kuvugana cyangwa se kugirana undi mubano wihariye.

‘Friends with Benefits’ byo ni igihe abantu babiri baba ari inshuti, ariko umubano wabo bakongeramo ibindi birenze aho baba bashobora no gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, ariko bakabyumvikanaho ko umubano wabo atari urukundo.

Icyo gihe baganira ku bijyanye no kubaha amahame ngenderwaho ya buri wese muri bo, ku buryo ushobora kujya muri uwo mubano unabizi ko uwo muwugiyemo afite umukunzi ariko ukaba utemerewe ibyo kumufuhira cyangwa kwitambika umubano we n’umukunzi we, nk’aho ari uwawe.

Umwarimu wa muri Kaminuza ya Tulane yo muri Amerika, Lisa Wade wigisha isomo rijyanye n’imibanire, yakoze ubushakashatsi aganira n’urubyiruko 150 rwigaga muri iyo kaminuza hagati ya 2020-2021, ashaka kumenya neza ibyiyumviro byabo n’uburyo bakoresha iyo bashaka kujya mu rukundo rwa babiri.

Yasanze urubyiruko rwinshi rudashaka kugaragaza ukuri kwarwo ku bijyanye no kujya mu rukundo ruhamye, akaba ari yo mpamvu benshi bisanga mu birimo ‘Situationship’.

Gusa yasanze ikibazo kiza kuvuka ari uko abayijyamo baba bataraganiriye ku byo gukundana bya nyabyo nka ‘couple’, bikaza kuba ingorabahizi iyo umwe yumva uwo mubano kuwutwara gutyo ntacyo bitwaye, mu gihe mugenzi we yatangiye kugira amarangamutima menshi yo kuwugira urukundo rwa nyarwo.

Gusa uwo mubano ukomeza gutyo mu buryo budasobanutse bikaba byanatinda, kuko wa wundi ushaka kuwugira uwa nyawo agira ubwoba bwo kuba yabivuga mugenzi we akaba yamwanga, kandi adashaka kumutakaza.

Ikigo gishinzwe Ubuzima muri Amerika, National Institutes of Health, mu Ishami ryacyo rishinzwe amakuru y’ikoranabuhanga mu buvuzi, mu 2022 na cyo cyavuze ku bushakashatsi bwakorewe ku banyeshuri bo muri Kaminuza ya Mbarara muri Uganda.

Byagaragaye ko inkundo z’abanyeshuri bo muri kaminuza akenshi ziba ari ‘situationship’, kuko usanga zigamije ibirenze kuba ‘couple’ bya nyabyo. Bwakorewe ku banyeshuri 64 barimo 31 b’igitsinagabo, na 33 b’igitsinagore.

Byagaragaye ko abanyeshuri muri kaminuza bisanga mu mubano wo gukundana n’abantu bakuze bagamije imibonano mpuzabitsina nka kumwe usanga umugabo w’imyaka 50 akundana n’umukobwa w’imyaka 20, ugasanga se umunyeshuri yishora mu kugirana umubano n’abantu benshi bakora imibonano mpuzabitsina, ahanini bishingiye ku mibereho ye ndetse n’icyo ashaka muri icyo gihe, wenda ashaka amafaranga.

Ikindi ni uko ubu bushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko hari abanyeshuri b’igitsinagabo bavuze ko bakoresheje bwa buryo bwa ‘‘Hit and Run’, bagasambana bagamije kwimara irari ry’umubiri gusa, badafite intego yo kugira umubano uhamye n’abo babikoze, abandi bakabikora kubera ikigare.

Ubu buryo bwose bw’umubano twagarutseho ntukwiye kwirengagiza ko bwagusigira ingaruka mbi zikomeye zirimo no kwandura indwara zandurira mu mibonano mpuzabitsina, guterwa cyangwa gutera inda zitateganyijwe, kwisanga wibasiwe n’gahinda gakabije n’ibindi byakwangiriza ubuzima.

Urubyiruko rwisunze amayeri mashya y'ubusambanyi mu kwihunza ibirimo inshingano z’urugo