Raporo y’Urwego rw’Ubucamanza mu Rwanda yerekanye ko mu mwaka wa 2024/2025 haburanishijwe imanza 2.674 z’abashakanye basaba gutandukana, zivuye ku manza 2.833 mu mwaka wari wabanje. Kwiyongera k’umubare w’abaka gatanya ni ikibazo gikomeye ku gihugu kubera ko imibereho myiza y’imiryango ari yo igena ahazaza hacyo.

Ikibazo cya gatanya mu Rwanda, giherutse kugarukwaho na Perezida Paul Kagame ubwo yitabiraga amasengesho yo gusengera Igihugu no gushima Imana azwi nka National Prayer Breakfast ategurwa n’Umuryango wa Rwanda Leaders Fellowship.

Yagaragaje ko abantu babana bakwiye kwihanganirana mu rwego rwo kubaka umuryango, bityo ko atumva uko abantu babiri babana bananiranwa.

Ati “Abantu babiri bananirwa kubana bate? Ari abantu benshi washyize hamwe birumvikana, ariko babiri? Erega abantu baranihanganirana. Icyaha abantu babiri umwe muri bo aba yakoze gituma undi amubwira ngo sinkigushaka mvira aha ni iki, haba habaye iki?”

Yakomeje agaragaza ko nubwo haba habaye ikibazo, abantu bakwiye kwicarana bakabicoca aho gutandukana kuko ushobora gusanga ahandi werekeje hariyo ibibazo birenze ibya mbere.

Mu gushaka kumenya ikibazo cya gatanya mu Rwanda, ariko umuntu akirebeye mu ndorerwamo y’amategeko, IGIHE yagiranye Ikiganiro na Me Nyembo Emeline, uri mu banyametegeko bunganira abashaka gatanya ndetse n’abafite ibindi bibazo bitandukanye.

IGIHE: Uyu munsi umuntu yavuga ko umuryango nyarwanda uhagaze gute mu bijyanye n’amategeko, ubwo ni imibanire y’abagabo n’abagore?

Me Nyembo Emeline: Muri iki gihe, ibibazo byinshi dufite mu muryango biterwa n’uko hari amahame atagihabwa agaciro. Hari indangagaciro zitakitabwaho, hari uruvangitirane rw’imico itandukanye ku buryo ibyacu twari dusanganywe bimera nk’ibyasutswemo amazi.

Ndabivuga mu buryo hari abashobora kutemeranya nanjye ariko ndubaha uburyo bwabo babyumva kuko buri wese afite uburenganzira bwo kumva ibintu mu buryo bwe,… Turi muri sosiyete aho umuntu abyuka akabona amafaranga agahita yumva ko igikurikiyeho ari ukuzana umugore.

Njyewe si ko mbyumva kuko mvuze ku ruhande rw’umugabo, kuzana umugore ni inshingano. Ntabwo ari ari ibintu bikwiye guterwa n’uko konti ibyimbyemo gato ngo uhite wumva ko igisigaye ari ukuzana umugore.

Ugomba kwibaza uti nubwo mfite ubushobozi bw’ibifatika, ariko se mfite ubushobozi bwo kuba nabana n’umugore, ese nshoboye kuba nabana n’umugore tukubaka urugo cyangwa se hari ibindi nsabwa?

Mu rugo ntihakora gusa urukundo, ntabwo ari ‘Chérie Chouchou’ gusa, ahubwo hari n’uburyo mubanye, hari imyitwarire, hari ukuba muhuje n’ibindi byinshi.

Ni kimwe n’abakobwa bamwe kandi, barangiza amashuri akibwira ati nabonye impamyabumenyi yanjye, ndi mwiza barimo barandambagiza, igisigaye ni ukureba muri bariya bari kundambagiza ngafatamo umwe. Ugasanga ntarebye ngo yibaze ati ese dufite icyerekezo kimwe, ese turi kumva ibintu kimwe?

Usanga rero iyo abantu bafashe ibintu nk’ibyo bakabica hejuru, ntibaganire, bagera hagati kuko bashakanye bataziranye kubera ko muziranye gusa mu gusohokera muri resitora nziza, kubera ko mwaryoheje ubuzima nubwo ari byiza, ariko mu rugo ukwiye kwibaza uti njyewe ugiye gushakana n’uyu, icyerekezo cyanjye ni ikihe?

Ndifuza kuzakora iki, ese ari uyu muntu yiteguye gutunga umugore w’umuganga? Yiteguye kuzabana n’umugore ujya kuvura abantu akaba yamara amasaha umunani mu cyumba cyo kubagiramo? Ese azabyihanganira, yiteguye ko mu bihe nk’ibyo azabasha gucyura abana ntahari cyangwa naraye izamu?

Umugore nawe ese witeguye gushyigikira umugabo wawe niba akora akazi kamusaba kuba adahari yagiye? Ibyo byose ugasanga abantu ntabwo babiganiriye.

Ibyerekeye ‘gatanya’ byo mubona bihagaze bite mu muryango nyarwanda?

Uyu munsi biravugwa cyane kuko abantu batinyutse kubivuga. Nubwo ntarakora ibarurishamibare ariko ntibivuze ko mbere abantu batagiraga kutumvikana ku bintu mu bashakanye. Ahubwo hariho ikintu cyo kuvuga ngo batazaduseka, ababyeyi bamwe bakabwira abana bati “ihangane natwe ni ko twazubatse”, … bizakemuka.

Hari aho koko byakemukaga, ariko hari n’aho bitakemukaga cyangwa bikarangira nabi. Uyu munsi rero aho bitandukaniye ni uko nk’umugore ashobora no kwirengagiza ibyo umuryango uri kumubwira akavuga ati ntabwo uri bukomeze kumpohotera, kandi no ku mugabo ni uko.

Hari n’igihe usanga umuntu ari gusaba ubutane ku bintu bidafite ishingiro. Hari n’ibyo usanga bibabaje birenze n’ubwenge ukurikije imiterere y’ikibazo.

Ntekereza rero ko biterwa n’ukuntu abantu basigaye babona ibintu n’ukuntu basigaye batinyuka kuvuga. Kera abantu bashoboraga kumara imyaka igera ku 10 batabana mu cyumba ariko basohoka hanze bakarenzaho bagaseka bakumva ko ntacyo bibatwaye. Uyu munsi ntabwo ari ko bikimeze. Hari abameraga guhohoterwa no gutsikamirwa bagaceceka, ariko kubera byagiye bigarukwaho kenshi, bakagenda batinyuka.

Habagaho no kutamenya ubreunganzira umuntu afite, ku buryo anahohoterwa ntamenye ko yahohotewe kubera ko utabifiteho ubumenyi. No kuba uvuga uti mfite abo ndi butakire bakanyumva, byatumye abahohoterwa badakomeza guceceka.

Mbere washoboraga kubivuga ntibyumvikane nk’uko uyu munsi byumvikana.

Abaka gatanya ni izihe mpamvu bakunze gushingiraho?

Hari abasaba gatanya kubera ko umwe mu bashakanye atuzuza inshingano, hari ukutabana nk’umugabo n’umugore, hari uguhoza ku nkeke bamwe bikanabaviramo uburwayi.

Hari kandi n’ikindi cyongewemo n’abashinga amategeko, aho ushobora kugera aho ukabona ntuhuza n’umuntu ukabona ntimwumva ibintu kimwe, ushobora kugenda ugasaba ubutane.

Gucana inyuma ni impamvu ishobora gutuma abashakanye batandukana?

Biterwa n’imboni ubibonamo. Gusa birababaza. Hari igihe gucana inyuma bikurikirwa n’ihohoterwa, hari igihe bikurikirwa no kutita inshingano, hari ubwo bizana indwara kandi umwe yari yaririnze.

Aho rero nka njye kenshi ndekera umupira uri kubicamo akaba ari we wifatira umwanzuro.

Nk’umunyamategeko ni ryari wagira umuntu inama yo gusaba gatanya bitewe n’ikibazo akugejejeho?

Ndi umuntu wemera ko ubutane butakabayeho, ariko iyo bigeze aho umuntu yatakaza ubuzima, yakuramo ake karenge. Njye ni ko mbyumva kuko n’ubundi yabutakaje abo bana yaba ashaka kurengera ntabwo yababona. Nubwo rwose ntemera gatanya.

No ku ruhande rw’abagabo hari abahohoterwa ariko ntibakunda kubivuga muri sosiyete yacu.

Ni irihe hohoterwa umugore ashobora gukorera umugabo mu rugo?
Buriya umuntu ashobora kutagukubita ariko akaguhohotera. Ashobora kuguhoza ku nkeke, ashobora kugenda akagura ibintu byinshi bitandukanye mutabivuganyeho, yaza wabimubazaho akakubwira nabi… aho aba aguhohoteye.

Azi ubushobozi mufite ariko ahora akubwira ngo ngurira iki kandi azi ko kirenz ubushobozi mufite, arashaka ko mubaho nk’uko runaka na kanaka babaho; ntabwo bikunda. Iryo na ryo ni ihohoterwa.

Nk’izi Banki Lambert zagiye ziteza ibibazo byinshi kubera abantu bashakaga kubaho birenze ubushobozi bwabo. Amahirwe ni uko byahagurukiwe bikabanyuka.

Ni ibiki umuntu ashobora kukugana ashaka gatanya, wabyumva ukumva nta mpamvu ya gatanya?

Nko kuba waza ukavuga uti “ntabwo tubasha gusangirira hamwe ku meza, ntabwo yambwiye ko naberewe, ntabwo dusohokana n’ibindi,… ntiyambwiye ngo ndagukunda, ntiyakubwiye ngo uraberewe, ariko se koko ibyo biratuma uhaguruka ugende nubwo na byo biryoha kubibwirwa, niba akubaha, akuzuza inshingano ze.
Hari ushwana n’umugabo ngo ni uko atamukoreye ibirori by’isabukuru y’amavuko. Wenda yakuze atamenyereye ibyo by’isabukuru cyangwa akabona si byo byihutirwa.

Mu ngo zisenyuka inyinshi ni izimaze igihe gito, ubona biterwa n’iki?

Mu rugo ntabwo ari ‘Chérie Chouchou’ gusa, hari igihe ubuzima buzana ibyabwo. Ikibazo gikomeye kiri mu rubyiruko ni uko abakobwa bareba ibintu by’inyuma. Umukobwa urangije amashuri ashaka kubaho nka wa mugore umaze imyaka 30-40 yubatse urugo.

Hari abavuga ko biterwa n’abakobwa bakurikira imitungo, ni byo?

Na byo birimo ariko ntabwo ari byo byonyine. Hari ukutamenyana byimbitse. Ikindi urubyiruko rukwiriye kwemera rukagirwa inama. Usanga abantu bataziranye kuko bataba babonye umwanya wo kwicara ngo bamenyane, bagashaka gukora nka kumwe uca kuri KFC ukishyura amafaranga kuri MoMo maze bakaguhereza ukagenda.

Ni gute uhura n’umuntu mu birori hanyuma mu kwezi gutaha mugatera ivi? Kandi ubwo ngo muri gutegura ikintu muzahuriraho imyaka n’imyaka. Niba ari umushinga w’igihe kirekire muri gupanga, biranabafata umwanya muremure muwutegura.

Mubona ari ibiki abagabo n’abagore bakwiriye gukosora ngo babane neza?

Abagabo bakwiye kumva ko Isi yateye imbere ntibumve ko ibintu byose agomba kugera mu rugo byakozwe n’umugore. Umugore nawe, kuba ufite akazi runaka ntibiba bikuyeho ko uri umubyeyi, ntibinakuraho inshingano z’ibyo ukwiye kureberera ufatanyije n’uwo mwashakanye.

Kujya guhaha ku isoko ntabwo ari ibintu bisuzuguritse ntibinagukuraho ubusirimu bwawe. Gufata abana bawe ukabajyana kwiyogoshesha cyangwa gukoresha imisatsi, ntabwo ari ibintu biciriritse.

Ahubwo ni n’umugisha kuba wagera ku ntego zawe ku kazi no mu rugo. Hari ingo usanga zarasenyutse kandi ibintu mu kazi bimeze neza, hari n’ingo usanga zimeze neza ariko mu kazi byarazambye. Ndahamagarira bagenzi banjye kubyaza umusaruro amahirwe bafite y’ahantu duherereye kuko uramutse ugiye muri Repubulika Iharanira Demokarasi ya Congo, ukajya Tanzania n’ahandi mu bihugu byo muri Afurika y’Uburengerazuba, ndakubwiza ukuri; Imana ishimwe ko turi mu Rwanda. Nkunda kubivuga. Iyo utaragera ahandi utekereza ko ari ibintu bisanzwe ariko ntabwo ari ibintu bisanzwe.

Imiryango bakomokamo yo ikwiriye kwitwara gute?

Ku birebana n’imiryango mukomokamo, mukwiye kuba mwarabiganiriyeho buri wese akubaha umuryango yashatsemo. Ariko mukwiye no kumva ko atari bo bubatse ahubwo ari mwebwe mwubatse nubwo gushakana kwanyu ari ko kuba kwarahuje iyo miryango, ariko ba nyirabayazana ba mbere ni mwebwe kuko iyo bitagenze neza nubwo haba harabayeho igihango ariko na ya miryango birahagarara.

Ni ibintu mukwiye kuganiraho rero hatabayeho kubica hejuru kuko abo mu miryango hari igihe bagira ukuboko kunini kuri umwe ugasanga ntibigenze neza.

Me Nyembo Emeline avuga ko hari iby'ingenzi abasore n'inkumi bitegura kubana bakwiriye kubanza kuganiraho