Ibyo ababyeyi bateye imbere bakunze kuba bahuriyeho mu gutoza abana babo

2 9-05-2017 - saa 10:58, Habimana Jean Baptiste

Umubyeyi wese yishimira kubona umwana yibarutse yitwara neza mu rungano, bikaba akarusho iyo abantu bose bamufata nk’icyitegererezo mu byo akora, mu masomo ahabwa no mu buzima busanzwe.

Mu gihe ababyeyi baba bashaka ko abana babo bitwara nk’abantu bakuru, ubushakashatsi mu by’imitekerereze y’umuntu bwagaragaje ko nubwo nta mahame yashyizweho agenderwaho mu gutanga uburere bwiza hari ingingo zigaragaza uko ushobora kugera ku ntsinzi.

The Independent itangaza ko akenshi uzanga ibi bishingiye ku burere butangwa n’umubyeyi.

Dore urutonde rw’ibintu 17 ababyeyi bafite abana bitwara neza bashobora kuba bahuriyeho:

1. Ababyeyi baha abana babo imirimo

Julie Lythcott-Haims, wahoze ayobora abanyeshuri muri Kaminuza ya Stanford, yagize ati “Iyo abana badakoze imirimo yo mu rugo nko koza ibikoresho byo mu gikoni, baba bazi ko hari undi muntu uri kubibakorera. Ntibiyumvisha ko ako ari akazi cyangwa se gakeneye no gukorwa. Buri wese muri twe yakagize uruhare mu kubibumvisha.”

Julie yananditse igitabo yise “How to Raise an Adult”, bishatse kuvuga uburyo bwo kurera umwana uzavamo intangarugero.

Lythcott-Haims yizera ko abana babyirutse bakora iyo mirimo yo mu rugo bavamo abakozi nyabo bashobora kubana neza n’abo bakorana. Bene abo bamenya guhangana n’ibibazo kandi biha inshingano bakanazuzuza.

2. Ababyeyi bigisha abana babo iby’ubuzima busanzwe

Mu myaka 20 ishize, abashakashatsi bo muri Kaminuza ya Pennsylvania n’iya Duke bakoze ubushakashatsi muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe za Amerika, ku bana 700 bari hagati y’imyaka ine na 25 basanga imyitwarire yabo ari bakuru irasa neza n’iyo mu bwana.

Ubwo bushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko abana babaye indashyikirwa mu mibanire bashoboye kubana neza na bagenzi babo, barabafasha kandi bakemura ibibazo byabo bwite, ndetse babashije gutsinda neza mu ishuri kandi ku myaka 25 bashoboraga gukora akazi ugereranije n’abatarahawe ubumenyi mu by’imibanire n’ubuzima busanzwe.

Abatarahawe ubumenyi mu by’ubuzima busanzwe, wasangaga bafite amahirwe menshi yo gufungwa, kubatwa n’ubusinzi ndetse bagakora n’akazi ko mu rugo.

Kuva umuntu akiri umwana, ubu bumenyi bushobora kwerekana ko umwana azajya mu ishuri cyangwa akananirana akaba yafungwa, azabona akazi cyangwa azabatwa n’inzoga n’ibiyobyabwenge.

3. Ababyeyi baba biteze ibintu bikomeye ku bana babo

Prof. Neal Halfon na bagenzi be bo muri Kaminuza ya California muri Los Angeles, bifashishije ibyavuye mu nyigo yakorewe ku bana ibihumbi 6,600 bavutse mu 2001, bavumbuye ko ibyo ababyeyi baba biteze ku bana rimwe na rimwe bibabaho.

Ibyavuye muri iyi nyigo byagaragaje ko 57% by’abana batagiye mu mashuri yisumbuye, abagera kuri 96% bo bajyayo nkuko byari byitezwe n’ababyeyi.

4. Ababyeyi babanye neza

Inyigo yakozwe na Kaminuza ya Illinois yagaragaje ko abana bavuka mu miryango ikunda kugirana amakimbirane, urugero nk’iyatandukanye, bakunda guhura n’ingaruka ugereranije n’ab’ababyeyi babanye neza.

Umuyobozi w’Ishami rishinzwe Imibanire myiza mu miryango muri Kaminuza ya Illinois, Prof. Robert Hughes Jr., yatangaje ko abana barerwa n’umubyeyi umwe ufite imico myiza babaho neza kurusha abarererwa mu muryango w’ababyeyi babiri ariko bafite amakimbirane.

Indi nyigo yagaragaje ko nyuma yo gutandukana kw’abashakanye, iyo umugabo akomeje kujya ahura na bo ariko adatongana n’uwari umugore we, abana bamererwa neza. Ariko iyo bongeye guhura bagatongana, bigira ingaruka ku bana.

Iyi nyigo kandi yagaragaje ko abana 20 bagizweho ingaruka n’itandukana ry’ababyeyi babo kuko bamaze imyaka icumi yose batarabyakira. Benshi muri bo batangaza ko baba bumva barahombye ndetse bakaba bicuza.

5. Iyo ababyeyi batonganye, abana bagira uruhare mu kwiyunga

Iyo abana bivugiye ko bo ubwabo bagize uruhare mu guhosha amakimbirane hagati y’ababyeyi babo, bibubakamo imbaraga n’ubushobozi byo gukemura ibibazo kandi bishobora kugira uruhare mu kuzamura umubano w’ababyeyi n’abana, ndetse bigafasha abana gutsinda mu ishuri nkuko byatangajwe na E. Mark Cummings, impuguke mu by’ubuzima bwo mu mutwe wo muri Kaminuza ya Notre Dame.

Umunaniro ukabije ku babyeyi, hari igihe utera abana umujinya, gutakaza icyizere, uburakari, guhangana nabo, guhindura imyitwarire, kurwara, umunaniro ndetse no guhura n’ingorane mu ishuri.

6. Ababyeyi bafite amashuri ahanitse

Inyigo yakozwe mu 2014 na Sandra Tang, impuguke mu buzima bwo mu mutwe muri Kaminuza ya Michigan, yagaragaje ko ababyeyi b’abagore bageze muri za Koleji barera abana babo nkuko barezwe.

Inyigo yakorewe ku bana ibihumbi 14,000 bize mu mashuri y’incuke kuva mu 1998 kugeza 2007, yagaragaje ko abana babyawe n’abagore batari bagejeje ku myaka 18, batashoboye gusoza amashuri yisumbuye nka bagenzi babo.

7. Ababyeyi bigisha imibare abana babo hakiri kare

Isesengura ryakorewe ku bana ibihumbi 35,000 bari bagiye gutangira ishuri muri 2007, muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe za Amerika, Canada n’u Bwongereza, ryagaragaje ko ubumenyi mu mibare umwana yabonye hakiri kare bugira akamaro iyo akuze.

Umushakashatsi Greg Duncan wo muri Northwestern University, yavuze ko umwana wigishijwe imibare akiri muto bitamufasha gusa kuyimenya, ahubwo bimufasha no kumenya gusoma.

8. Ababyeyi bazamura umubano wabo n’abana

Inyigo yakozwe mu 2014, ikorewe ku bantu 243 bavukiye mu bukene, yagaragaje ko abana bitaweho neza mu myaka itatu yabo ya mbere, uretse no gutsinda mu ishuri, bagira imibanire myiza iyo bageze mu myaka 30.

Impuguke mu buzima bwo mu mutwe yo muri Kaminuza ya Minnesota, Lee Raby, yavuze ko kwita ku mwana bimuha intangiriro nziza y’ubuzima kandi bikamufasha kumenya ibibera ku isi.

Barack Obama n'umugore we Michelle Obama b'abana babo Malia na Sasha bari gutembera

9. Ababyeyi ntibagira umunaniro ukabije

Nkuko bitangazwa na Brigid Schulte, mu kinyamakuru The Washington Post, yavuze ko umubare w’amasaha ababyeyi b’abagore bamarana n’abana bari hagati y’imyaka itatu na 11 agira uruhare mu myitwarire y’umwana mu gihe kizaza.

Ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko iyo inshuti yawe yishimye nawe wishima, yaba yarakaye ukaba nawe warakara. Bityo rero, umubyeyi ashobora kwanduza umwana we iyo mimerere.

10. Ababyeyi bagaragaza ingufu bakirinda gutsindwa

Impuguke mu buzima bwo mu mutwe muri Kaminuza ya Stanford, Carol Dweck, mu myaka icumi yagaragaje ko abana n’abantu bakuru batekereza ku ntsinzi mu buryo bubiri:

• "Imitekerereze idahinduka” yiyumvisha ko imimerere yacu, ubwenge cyangwa se ubushobozi bwo guhanga udushya bitahinduka mu buryo butandukanye, ko intsinzi ari iy’abanyabwenge gusa, kandi ko kuyiharanira bisaba umuntu kuba akorana umurava.

• “ Imitekerereze ihinduka” ihangana n’ingaruka kandi ntibona gutsindwa nk’iby’abantu badafite ubwenge, ahubwo nk’ikimenyetso cy’uko umuntu agomba kongera imbaraga mu byo akora.

11. Ababyeyi b’abagore badakorera hafi y’ingo zabo

Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe na Harvard Business School bugaragaza ko hari inyungu nyinshi ku bana barerwa n’ababyeyi badakorera hafi y’imuhira.

Iyi nyigo igaragaza ko abakobwa bavutse ku babyeyi b’abagore bakoreraga kure yo mu rugo, bakora akazi k’ubugenzuzi kandi bakabona amafaranga akubye inshuro 23% ugereranije n’abarezwe n’ababyeyi bakorera imuhira.

Muri iyi nyigo, abahungu bo byagaragaye ko bamara nibura amasaha arindwi n’igice bita ku bana ndetse n’iminota 25 mu kazi ko mu rugo birenga ku gihe abarerwa n’ababyeyi baba mu rugo bamara.

12. Ababyeyi bafite ubumenyi mu mibanire no gucunga umutungo

Mu buryo butangaje cyane, kimwe cya gatanu cy’abana bo muri Amerika bakuriye mu bukene, byagize ingaruka ku hazaza habo.

Nkuko bitangazwa na Sean Reardon, Umushakashatsi wo muri Stanford University, icyuho mu byinjijwe n’imiryango ikennye n’ikize cyari hagati ya 30% na 40% ku kigero cyo hejuru ugereranyije n’abavutse mu myaka 25 mbere ya 2001.

13. Ababyeyi bafata inshingano, badakoresha igitugu

Impuguke mu buzima bwo mu mutwe muri Kaminuza ya California, Diana Baumride, yagaragaje ko ababyeyi barimo ibyiciro bitatu:

- Umubyeyi udahana umwana
- Umubyeyi ugerageza gushungura agahana umwana we ashingiye ku buryo yitwara
- Umubyeyi uyobora umwana mu buryo buboneye

14. Ababyeyi bigisha abana babo gutinyuka

Angela Duckworth, wo muri Kaminuza ya Pennsylvania, mu mwaka wa 2013 yavuze ko ibyo gutinyuka bishingira ku kwigisha umwana uburyo bwo gutekereza no kwiyemeza agamije gutegura ejo heza.

15. Ababyeyi bita abana babo amazina abereye

Ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko izina ry’umuntu rishobora kujyana n’imibereho cyangwa uburyo yitwara. Abahanga bavuga ko abantu bitwa amazina azwi kandi yoroshye kuyasoma, bakunze kugera ku ntsinzi.

16. Ababyeyi bagenzura imyitwarire y’abana aho kugenzura imitekerereze

Kutemerera abana kwifatira imyanzuro, byangiza ubuzima bwite bwabo, bigatuma batigenga ndetse no kubabuza gukora ibyo bashaka byose ni ingero zo kugenzura imitekerereze yabo.

Ingero zo kugenzura imyitwarire zo zishingira ku gutoza umwana gukora imirimo yo mu rugo, kumuha amabwiriza yo kugenderaho no kumusaba gusoza imikoro yakuye ku ishuri.

17. Ababyeyi bazi akamaro k’indyo iboneye n’uburyo bwo kuyifata

Umuhanga mu by’imitekerereze n’ubuvuzi bwo mu mutwe ku bana, Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair, yabwiye ikinyamakuru Business Insider, ko ababyeyi bafite ubushobozi bwo kumenya no kuboneza imirire, bafasha abana babo gukura biyitaho kandi basigasira amagara yabo.

Barack Hussein Obama Jr. wari ufite imyaka 10 asuhuza se Barack Hussein Obama Sr. ku Kibuga cy’Indege muri Hawaii
Ababyeyi benshi usanga bahuriye ku gukinisha abana babo imikino itandukanye
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TANGA IGITEKEREZO

AMATEGEKO AGENGA IYANDIKA RY'IGITEKEREZO CYAWE

1
Eva 2017-05-11 03:38:58

Murakoze cyane kuduhugura,mukomerezaho

2
Serge 2017-05-09 18:40:28

nkunda ko mutanga inyigisho zisobanutse kandi zicukumbuye, gusoma inkuru ni ukwiga! Keep it up!

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