IGIHE

Byitwa iki iyo umugore ahatiye umugabo imibonano mpuzabitsina?

1 28-07-2019 - saa 16:09, Umutoni Rosine

Mu mategeko y’ibihugu bitandukanye, usanga icyitwa gufata ku ngufu gihabwa igisobanuro iyo ari umugabo wahatiye umugore gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, ugasanga ntibitindwaho igihe bikozwe n’umugore.

Muri iki cyumweru nibwo hatangajwe ubushakashatsi bwakozwe na Dr Siobhan Weare wo mu Ishuri ry’Amategeko rya Kaminuza ya Lancaster mu Bwongereza afatanyije na Survivors Manchester. Bwagarutse ku gikorwa cyo kwinjiza igitsina mu wundi muntu utabigizemo ubushake, ‘forced-to-penetrate’ mu Cyongereza.

Ubu bushakashatsi yamuritse ku wa Kane, Dr Weare yabukoze binyuze mu biganiro n’abagabo 30 baganiriye hagati ya Gicurasi 2018 na Nyakanga 2019 ku birebana no kwinjiza igitsina mu cy’undi hatabayeho ubushake, ibintu kugeza uyu munsi bititwa ‘gufatwa ku ngufu” mu mategeko y’u Bwongereza na Wales.

Dr Weare yubakiye ku bundi bushakashatsi yakoreye mu Bwongereza mu 2016/17, ahuza amakuru y’abagabo barenga 200 binyuze kuri internet.

Zimwe mu ngero zabonywe mu bushakashatsi kuri iki “cyaha kitavugwa” harimo kuba umugabo yakanguka agasanga arimo gukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina n’umugore atabigizemo ubushake; kuba yahatirwa gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina n’umugore atinya izindi ngaruka cyangwa akabikora nyuma yo guterwa ubwoba ku mubiri, mu bitekerezo cyangwa ku bukungu.

Ababajijwe bose amazina yabo yagizwe ibanga, ariko harimo uwahawe izina rya John, utanga ubuhamya bw’uko yagiye ahohoterwa n’umugore we abanje kumubabaza ku mubiri, akamuzirika ku gitanda.

Umugore we ngo yavaga ku kazi agahita amusaba imibonano mpuzabitsina ako kanya. John ati "Yabaga afite ubukana, ku buryo byageze aho ajya kuva ku kazi nkumva ntangiye kubunza imitima.”

Umugore ngo yageze aho amutamika imiti ya Viagra ngo imwongerere ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, anamupfuka umunwa ngo atayigarura. Ubwo John ngo yaganyiraga abantu kubera uko abayeho, bamugiriye inama yo guhunga urwo rugo akigendera, ariko nanone akagira imbogamizi.

Ati “Bambazaga impamvu ntahunga urwo rugo. Yego yari inzu naguriye abana banjye. Ariko ikibazo cy’umutungo ku rundi ruhande, cyampatiraga kuguma muri urwo rushako.”

Ngo hari n’abamubazaga impamvu umugore amukubita we ntamusubize, ariko ngo agahitamo kubitwara gahoro.

Ubuzima bujya gusa n’ubwa John ngo bwagarutse cyane mu nkuru z’abagabo batandukanye baganiriye na Dr Weare.

Inshuro nyinshi ngo guhatirwa imibonano mpuzabitsina kandi byakozwe n’umugore cyangwa uwahoze ari umugore w’umugabo runaka, bigafatwa nk’ihohoterwa ryo mu rugo aho kuba gufatwa ku ngufu.

Umugabo umwe ngo ubwo yahohoterwaga, hashize igihe abibwira umupolisi, undi ati “ugomba kuba warabyishimiye, bitabaye ibyo uba warabivuze hakiri kare.”

Hari n’undi wagize ati “Dutinya kubivuga, ndetse n’iyo tubikoze ntabwo batwizera kubera ko turi abagabo. Ni gute umugabo yafatwa ku ngufu? Mwitegereze, ni umugabo.”

Ibindi ubu bushakashatsi bugaragaza harimo abagabo bagira ipfunwe ryo kubivuga, ku buryo n’iyo bibaye bavuga ko bakorerwa ihohoterwa ryo mu ngo, basimbuka iryo bakorerwa rishingiye ku gitsina.

Ibyo ngo bituma hari abahura n’ihungabana bakaba bashobora kwiyahura cyangwa ubuzima bujyanye n’imibonano mpuzabitsina bugahagarara burundu.

Ibindi bitekerezo byatanzwe kuri iyi ngingo uko ngo hari abafata ko igitsina cy’umugabo kidashobora guhura n’icy’umugore igihe umugabo atabishaka kuko afatwa nk’umunyembaraga. Ikindi ngo ni uko abagabo benshi bafata kuryamana n’umugore nk’ikintu cyiza.

Icya gatatu ngo ni uko igitsina cy’umugabo gishobora gufata umurego igihe cyose. Dr. Weare yavuze ko "ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina ari igisubizo ubwonko butanga ako kanya, igihe hari igikorwa kiyiganishaho gisembuye umubiri.”

Yakomeje ati “Abagabo bashobora kugira ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina n’iyo baba bafite ubwoba, barakaye cyangwa bahangayitse.”

Umubare munini w’abagabo babajiwe mu bushakashatsi bwa Weare mu 2017, basubije ko bafashwe ku ngufu basinze inzoga cyangwa ibiyobyabwenge, ku buryo batabashaga kugenzura ibirimo kuba.

Umwe mu babajijwe avuga ko yasohokanye n’umugore barasangira ndetse bajya kubyina, akeka ko yamuhaye ibiyobyabwenge maze bagakorana imibonano mpuzabitsina atari ku bushake bwe.

Hari n’umusore wavuze ko yakoraga ahantu mu biruhuko, umugore bakoranaga aza kubona ibaruwa yandikiye umusore w’inshuti ye, amubwira ko agomba kumwirukanisha kuko ari umutinganyi, natemera ko baryamana.

Weare avuga ko abo bagabo babifata nko gufatwa ku ngufu, bakabifata nk’urucantege kuba bitarashyizwe mu mategeko ngo bihanirwe.

Umwe mu myanzuro y’ubu bushakashatsi harimo ko havugururwa amategeko, cyane cyane irirebana no gufata ku ngufu kugira ngo ingero zose zirebweho.

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TANGA IGITEKEREZO

AMATEGEKO AGENGA IYANDIKA RY'IGITEKEREZO CYAWE

1
hitimana 2019-07-28 10:46:20

Imana ishaka ko abashakanye bakora imibonano mpuzabitsina nta gahato.Ishaka ko bishimana kandi bakabyara.Nicyo yabahereye ibitsina.Nkuko imigani 5,imirongo 15-20 havuga,ibasaba "gushimishanya",binyuze ku bitsina.Ngusabye kuhisomera.Naho muli abakorinto ba mbere,igice cya 7,umurongo wa 5,irababwira ngo:"Ntimukimane".Byerekana ko idukunda cyane.Icyo itubuza ni ugusambana.Ndetse ikavuga ko ababikora bose izabima ubuzima bw’iteka muli paradizo dutegereje.Kandi ababikora ni millions and millions,mu rwego rwo kwishimisha.Dukwiye gushaka ubwo buzima dushyizeho umwete kuko paradizo iri hafi.

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